we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
