my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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