I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think my fart just growled at me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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