Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
