Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just cut my nipple shaving
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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