party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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