I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
