Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
