wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.