i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A bitchslap is in order.