Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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