its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
