When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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