i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just found a bag of teeth...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
