Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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