Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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