HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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