There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize