no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize