Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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