he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
