Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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