I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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