Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
