I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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