I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
