So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
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I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
that is very illegal...i love you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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