Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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