Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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