Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
