I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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