She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
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dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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