never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
