her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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