i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
