so explain again why im purple
no
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
