As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
