i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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