If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
