What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
