There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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