she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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