My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
