And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
