i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
