everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
