dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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