the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
