Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize