when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
did i just pee glitter
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
