you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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