This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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