i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
