oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
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Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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