5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
